FOAAS

v0.0.2

FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.

Content Negotiation

FOAAS will respond to the following 'Accept:' values with appropriate content

• text/plain - Content will be returned as a plain string.
• application/json - Content will be returned as a JSON object { message: 'message', subtitle: 'subtitle' }
• text/html - Content will be returned as an HTML page with a twitter bootstrap hero unit, containing the message and the subtitle.

API

/off/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck off, :name. - :from', e.g. /off/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck off, Tom - Chris'

/you/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck you, :name. - :from', e.g. /you/Tom/Chris will return 'Fuck you, Tom - Chris'

/this/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck this. - :from', e.g. /this/Tom will return 'Fuck this. - Tom'

/that/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck that. - :name', e.g. /that/Tom will return 'Fuck that. - Tom'

/everything/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck everything. - :name', e.g. /everything/Tom will return 'Fuck everything. - Tom'

/everyone/:from

Will return content of the form 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - :name', e.g. /everyone/Tom will return 'Everyone can go and fuck off. - Tom'

/donut/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - :from', e.g. /donut/Tom/Chris will return 'Tom, go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. - Chris'

/shakespeare/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from'.

/linus/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, there aren't enough swear-words in the English language, so now I'll have to call you perkeleen vittupää just to express my disgust and frustration with this crap. - :from'.

/king/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Oh fuck off, just really fuck off you total dickface. Christ :name, you are fucking thick. - :from'.

/pink/:from

Will return content of the form 'Well, Fuck me pink. - :name".

/life/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck my life. - :from', e.g. /life/Phil will return 'Fuck my life. - Phil'.

/chainsaw/:name/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - :from', e.g. /chainsaw/Chris/Heather will return 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Chris. Do I look like Mother Teresa? - Heather'.

/outside/:name/:from

Will return content of the form ':name, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - :from', e.g. /outside/BigBrother/TheWorld will return 'BigBrother, why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself? - TheWorld'.

/:thing/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck :thing. - :from', e.g. /pineapples/%E2%99%A5%20Chris will return 'Fuck pineapples. - ♥ Chris'.

/thanks/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fuck you very much. - :from'.

/flying/:from

Will return content of the form 'I don't give a flying fuck. - :from'.

/fascinating/:from

Will return content of the form 'Fascinating story, in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? - :from'.

Alternative URLs

• http://foaas.herokuapp.com
• http://foaas.com

Contributing

In your PR, please include relevant documentation in both README.md and public/index.html.

Roadmap

FOASS will be extended to include the following functionality:

• Random fuck offs (or Fuck Off of the Day), without having to specify the operation (off, you, everyone, donut etc) explicitly
• Internationalization based on Accept-Language.

All contributions are very welcome.