Talk:80's Ladies

This review is transcluded from Talk:80's Ladies/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: HereIGoAgain (talk · contribs) 10:22, 5 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 07:01, 25 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):   It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):   It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects):   b (focused):   It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias:   It is stable. No edit wars, etc.:   It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
·   ·   ·

@HereIGoAgain: I have unfortunately abandoned my review midway because I believe the page is far from having GA-quality prose. The article needs substantial assistance to correct your errors in sentence structure, which is given to run-ons and indecipherable turns of phrase. This is cause to fail the nomination.

What you should do:

• Implement the prose changes recommended on this page, including some that are article-wide issues to meet the Manual of Style.
• Request a copyedit at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests. I believe that a copyedit will help you understand your issues in writing.
• Bring this page back to GAN when that is complete.

Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:44, 31 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

@HereIGoAgain: The remainder of the review is on hold pending resolution of the two priority items below. I understand this is your first GAN, so I want to provide as much feedback as possible, but these are major blockers. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 07:21, 25 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Please do anything to make these sources available as the best as you can. Try copying some words or a sentence from the newspaper material as an offline source and see what is available. If nothing found, then I would recommend citing them as an offline source. The references are from Oslin's archive scrapbook material that holds every review from magazines and articles dating from 1986 through 1988 that might have been out-of-print or were less-significant to publish at that time. HereIGoAgain (talk) 07:28, 25 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

I have supplied what I can (see below), but I don't think the specific magazines and press releases are available from databases, @HereIGoAgain.

I know that there are a lot of really useful music sources like this (for instance, a shadow library blows ProQuest out of the water with its archive of Radio & Records), but I know too that at some point someone will give you this note, so I felt it was best that you know now. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 22:03, 25 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Fair enough... so the remainder of the other references other than newspapers.com/proquest source duplicates that you've found, I think we can leave the rest as offline sources at this time. Until some information of some article wording might show up, it would take a couple of more years until it gets noticed or a different source is needed. I've already taken care of the references [12] and [46] to the actual metadata. HereIGoAgain (talk) 22:56, 25 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Done! WordPress blogs are removed and are cited into offline sources! All priority items are now fixed in response to WP:COPYVIOEL and WP:Offline sources. HereIGoAgain (talk) 06:14, 28 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Throughout article:

• Dates with years should be followed by commas, e.g. June 30, 1987 by → June 30, 1987, by, per MOS:DATECOMMA.
• Quotes of sentence fragments should use logical quotes with punctuation outside of quotation, "like this".

• which shot her successes to the mainstream country after "shot her successes" is weird phrasing, and add "genre" after "country" in this use
• Commercially, the record had topped Unnecessary "had"
• Four singles were released on that latter, with her self-titled single Reword — not making sense.
• The album also featured many major award nominations throughout 1988, including unparalleled reviews from music critics.
  • "featured" — maybe "garnered"? Rather odd word choice here.
  • "Unparalleled" sounds promotional, maybe "positive" or "highly positive"?

• K.T. Oslin wrote country songs that brought the attention to SESAC, while also finding herself singing with Guy Clark's self-titled album. Brought the attention of what? Were they promotional? Reword.
• Link Nashville on first use here.
• flopped to commercial failure Redundant.
• Eventually, she was dropped by Elektra in 1982, but she however returned to New York and commercially returned to work, which she found unsatisfying. Overly verbose. Try She was dropped by Elektra in 1982 and returned to work in New York, which she found unsatisfying.
• Stylize "AM" as "a.m."
• Shedd convinced Oslin to record three of her original tunes and he eventually became her full-time production collaborator. With two separate subjects (Shedd and he) either side of the "and", you need a comma after "tunes". WP:CINS

• No need to specify "Tennessee" with Nashville.
• The recording was done digitally using a digital 32-track Digitally digital and digitally redundant.
• The rhythm in the first paragraph is choppy with short sentences abounding.
• while mastering is being done by wrong tense, should be "was done"
• 80's Ladies sound was compromised to a "blend of pop and southern-blues-and-rock" release. Unusual use of "compromised"
• The song "Wall of Tears", which was written by Richard Leigh and Peter McCann, was the only track Oslin did not write. "I'll Always Come Back" was written by Oslin. Sentence 2 is redundant due to sentence 1. Try for sentence 2, Of "I'll Always Come Back", Oslin remarked...
  • That whole sentence is kludgy. Restructure it.
• The song, "Do Ya" This is an unnecessary comma. It is not an appositive because omitting "Do Ya" makes the reader ask, "What song?"
• The song dates back to 1982 as Oslin's earlier recording as a follow-up from her first single "Clean up Your Tables", which then failed commercially, and would be eventually re-recorded for 80's Ladies. Consider splitting. I don't think it needs to be restated at this point that her first single was a commercial failure. You don't need "would" here — try "was eventually". Also, probably capitalize Up in this specific instance?
• was originally written for actress Sissy Spacek that appeared as her only 1983 studio album Hangin' Up My Heart. Reword
• Originally titled "How Many Loves Have I Got Left", which is found on the B-side of the 1982 version of "Younger Men", the song title was virtually used as the ending progression on the chorus parts. What does "virtually" have to do with it?
• They were convinced at first was "a Kodak jingle" tune. Seems to be missing a "that it" after "first".
• When Gillespie approached producer Brent Maher, he gave the two a positive reputation to finish the song. What does this mean?
• Country-duo, known as The Judds, picked up This could just be "The Judds picked up"

• The album debuted at number 145 on the US Billboard chart on December 12, 1987, before peaking at number sixty-eight Be consistent: "68", not "sixty-eight".
• In retrospect, Oslin has become "the oldest breakthrough artist in country music history." Demands in-text attribution.
• Music videos were produced for "80's Ladies" and "I'll Always Come Back", both produced by Marc W. Ball and directed by Jack Cole and John Lloyd Miller, which the "80's Ladies" video had won for ACM's "Country Music Video of the Year", while "I'll Always Come Back" has been nominated for that same accolade. This sentence demands a two- or three-way split. "Has been" is inappropriate tense: should be "was".

• The tour began on mid-January 1988 in, not on. (I fixed this because I improved the unclipped citation here)

Priority item: WP:COPYVIOEL stipulates that extenral links to copyright violations are forbidden. There are 18 links to a WordPress blog as references. It is going to be difficult to identify appropriate links or database IDs for some of the music-specific sources. This sentence contains citation information for the various reviews that I could find in Newspapers.com or ProQuest.^{[1][2][3][4][5]} For the remainder, I could not identify appropriate material. What you can do is cite the publications as an offline source.

  Done HereIGoAgain (talk) 06:19, August 28, 2024 (UTC)

Priority item: Reference [12] and [46] (actually duplicated) is a bare URL, which is not permitted for a GAN. Please add citation metadata and consolidate into one reference.

  Done HereIGoAgain (talk) 06:19, August 28, 2024 (UTC)

The images have either an NFUR, for the album covers, or correct and admissible licensing. Encouragement: Add alt text to your images to improve your article's accessibility to screen reader users.