Ally McBeal/Season 1

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Ally McBeal was an American television legal comedy-drama starring Calista Flockhart, created by David E. Kelley. The show ran on the FOX network from 1997 to 2002.

Ally McBeal: I'm not sure how it all started. Oh, it was because I smelled his bottom.It wasn 't that stupid. Dogs did it. That's how they knew for sure.

Richard: Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me. That's a Fishism.

Ally: I think I need to believe that it works

Billy: What works?

Ally: Love. Couple hood. Partnerships. The idea that when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that with me when I'm going to bed at night, even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism.

Richard: Everybody's alone, Ally. It's just easier to take in a relationship.

Ally: Elaine, you look like Hannibal Lecter.

Ally: Do you think I'm nuts?

Judge Jennifer "Whipper" Cone: No, I don't think you're nuts, but I don't think that you have both feet on the ground either.

Ally McBeal: You mean some people do?

Ally: How did I get to be such a mess so soon in my life?

Billy: You've always been ahead of your time.

Ally McBeal: I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?

Renée Radick: People think you're strange, you know. Just, just sit there and don't talk.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: I am an enigma.

Renée Radick: You're a cute little enigma.

John: [about Santa Claus] A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and a glass of whole milk.

Ally McBeal: I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.

Ally McBeal: Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested. Do you ever wish you could erase a whole day from your life, a year even?

John: If you think back, and replay your year - if it doesn't bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted.

• Ally McBeal/Season 1 quotes at the Internet Movie Database