Talk:Bin Tepe/GA1

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Nominator: Botterweg14 (talk · contribs) 03:08, 24 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 10:54, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this one. UndercoverClassicist ^T·C 10:54, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• The lead is very short, and doesn't really summarise the article as it should per MOS:LEAD. As a general rule, each paragraph of the body text normally condenses down to a sentence of the lead.
• There are a few errors in using the RP template (for instance, pp. used with only a single page, or with a hyphen instead of an endash).
• At the start of the Site section, we should explain briefly what's at the site, so we don't have a sentence like Its elevation and proximity to a major travel route made the tumuli conspicuous to ancient travellers coming before any mention of the tumuli in the body text.
• The site's proximity to Bronze Age settlement mounds suggests that it may have been chosen to provide a symbolic link to the past: similarly, we need a sense of the site's chronology to make sense of this.
• generally located off-center to deter grave robbers.: is this explanation given in the sources? Doesn't really pass the sniff test for me (after all, if you want to hide a grave, you don't stick a whacking great tumulus on top of it!)
• stone crepis walls: explain and, if applicable, link crepis.
• I would explain that Gordion was the capital of Phrygia.
• Add the names of the excavators to the infobox. Remember that date ranges like "1854–present" take an endash.
• The style remained in use after the fall of the Lydian Empire: when did this happen?
• many of the datable examples at Bin Tepe having been constructed during the Persian period: similarly, when was this?
• though they coexisted with others such as ... cist graves: I don't usually see cist graves cited as an elite burial style: does the source do this?
• The Tumulus of Alyattes: deitalicise per MOS:ITALIC. The Turkish translation should be in a language template.
• Suggest using the convert template on the metric measurements for the benefit of users used to imperial measurements.
• Despite being constructed to deter grave robbers: how, exactly?
• The two paragraphs of "major tumuli" have all their citations bundled at the end of the paragraph, which isn't great per WP:VERIFIABILITY and makes it very difficult for future editors to add or change content. Could each sentence be cited (only) to the sources that support it?
• The Tumulus of Alyattes was described by Herodotus in his Histories: who was he and when did he write?
• It's more usual to give the Herodotus citation as "1.93". We should also credit the translator (George Rawlinson) and, possibly, give the date (1920).
• Suggest linking Croesus in the quotation.
• Image captions that are not full sentences should not end in a full stop/period.
• File:Britishmuseumbintepehorserelief (cropped).jpg needs a PD tag for the original work.
• Alt text should be added to images for accessibility.
• All other images check out.

Thank you for these comments, UndercoverClassicist! These are really helpful, not just for this article but for my Wikipedia contributions in general. Unfortunately I don't think I can commit to implementing these changes any time soon-- I had forgotten that I nominated this article until I saw your announcement on my talk page just now. So I think I will withdraw the submission for the time being, but I will eventually implement your suggestions, which once again look very useful. Botterweg14 (talk) 16:49, 23 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]