The True Patriot/No. 11.

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EURIP. IN PHAENISS.

SIR,

I AM a citizen, a haberdasher by trade, and one of those persons to whom the world allow the epithets of wise and prudent. And I enjoy this character the more, as I can fairly assure myself I deserve it; nor am indebted, on this account, to any thing but my own regular conduct, unless to the good instructions with which my father launched me into the world, and upon which I formed this grand principle, 'That there is no real value in anything but money.'

The truth of this proposition may be argued from hence, that it is the only thing in the value of which mankind are agreed; for, as to all other matters, while they are held in high estimation by some, they are disregarded and looked on as cheap and worthless by others. Nay, I believe it is difficult to find any two persons, who place an equal valuation on any virtue, good or great quality whatever.

Now having once established this great rule, I have, by reference to it, been enabled to set a certain value on every thing else; in which I have governed myself by two cautions: 1st, Never to purchase too dear; and 2ndly (which is a more uncommon degree of wisdom), Never to overvalue what I am to sell; by which latter misconduct I have observed many persons guilty of great imprudence.

It is not my purpose to trouble you with exemplifications of the foregoing rule, in my ordinary calling: I shall proceed to acquaint you with my conduct concerning those things which some silly people call invaluable, such as reputation, virtue, sense, beauty, &c., all which I have reduced to a certain standard: for, as your friend Mr. Adams says, in his letter on the late fast, I imagine every man, woman, and thing, to have their price. His astonishment at which truth made me smile, as I dare swear it did you; it is, indeed, agreeable enough to the simplicity of his character.

But to proceed — In my youth I fell violently in love with a very pretty woman. She had a good fortune; but it was 500l. less than I could with justice demand (I was heartily in love with her, that's the truth of it); I therefore took my pen and ink (for I do nothing without them), and set down the particulars in the following manner:—

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You see, Sir, I strained as hard as possible, and placed a higher value (perhaps) on her several perfections, than others would have done; but the balance still remained against her, and I was reduced to the necessary alternative of sacrificing that sum for ever, or of quitting my mistress. You may easily guess on which a prudent man would determine. — Indeed, I had sufficient reason to be afterwards pleased with my prudence, as she proved to be a less valuable woman than I imagined; for, two years afterwards, having had a considerable loss in trade, by which the balance above was satisfied, I renewed my addresses, but the false-hearted creature (forsooth) refused to see me.

A second occasion which I had for my pen and ink, in this way, was, when the situation of my affairs, after some losses, was such, that I could clearly have put 1500l. in my pocket by breaking. The account then stood thus:

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I am convinced you are so good a master of figures, that I need not cast up the balance, which must so visibly have determined me to preserve the character of an honest man.

Not to trouble you with more instances of a life, of which you may easily guess the whole by this specimen; for it hath been entirely transacted by my golden rule; I shall hasten to apply this rule, by which I suppose many other persons in this city conduct themselves, to the present times.

And here, Sir, have we not reason to suppose, that some good men, for want of duly considering the danger of their property, &c., from the present rebellion, and low state of public credit, have been too tenacious of their money on the present occasion; for, if we admit that the whole is in danger, surely it is the office of prudence to be generous of the lesser part, in order to secure the greater.

Let us see how this stands on paper; for thus only we can argue with certainty.

Suppose, then, the given sum of your property be 20,000l.

The value of securing this will be more or less, in proportion to the danger; for the truth of which I need not only appeal to the common practice of insurance.

If the chance then be twenty to one, it follows that the value of insurance is at an average with 1000l.

And proportionally more or less, as the danger is greater or less.

There are, besides, two other articles, which I had like to have forgot, to which every man almost affixes some value. These are religion and liberty. Suppose therefore we set down

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And I think none but a profligate fellow can value them at a lower rate; it follows, that to secure them from the same proportion of danger as above, is worth 10½d.

Now this last sum may be undoubtedly saved, as it would not be missed or called for, if men would only seriously consider the preservation of what is so infinitely more valuable, their property; and advance their money in its defence, in due proportion to the degree of its danger. And as there is nothing so pleasant as clear gain, it must give some satisfaction to every thinking man, that while he risks his money for the preservation of his property, his religion and liberty are tossed him into the bargain.

You see, Sir, I have fairly balanced between those hot-headed zealots, who set these conveniences above the value of money, and those profligate wicked people, who treat them as matters of no concern or moment.

I have therefore been a little surprised at the backwardness of some very prudent men on this occasion; for it would be really doing them an injury to suspect they do not set a just value on money, while every action of their lives demonstrates the contrary.

I can therefore impute this conduct only to a firm persuasion that there will be foolish people enow found, who from loyalty to their king, zeal for their country, or some other ridiculous principle, will subscribe sufficient sums for the defence of the public; and so they might save their own money, which will still increase in value, in proportion to the distress and poverty of the nation.

This would be certainly a wise and right way of reasoning; and such a conduct must be highly commendable, if the fact supposed was true; for as nothing is so truly great as to turn the penny while the world suspects your ruin; so to convert the misfortunes of a whole community to your own emolument, must be a thing highly eligible by every good man, i.e. every Plumb. But I am afraid this rule will reach only private persons at most, and cannot extend to those whose examples, while they keep their own purses shut, lock up the purses of all their neighbours.

A fallacy of the same kind I am afraid we fall into, when we refuse to lend our money to the government at a moderate interest, in hopes of extorting more from the public purse; with which thought a very good sort of man, a Plumb, seemed yesterday to hug himself, in a conversation which we had upon this subject; but upon the nearest computation I could make with my pen, which I handled the moment he left me, I find that this very person who proposed to gain 1 per cent. in 20,000l. would, by the consequential effect on the public credit, be a clear loser of 2½.

In short, I am afraid certain persons may at this time run the hazard of a fate which too often attends very wise men, who have not on all occasions a recourse to figures, and may incur the censure of an old proverb, by being 'Penny wise and pound foolish.' And since I may be involved, against my will, in the calamity, I shall be obliged to you if you will publish these cautions from,

SIR,

Your humble Servant,

STEPHEN GRUB.

N.B. As your paper supplies the place of three evening posts, I save 1½d, per week by it; for which pray accept my acknowledgment.