Christmas is coming close and I’m still struck with Seasonal Affective Disorder. I bright some LPS and Monster high yesterday but nothing of it made me feel joyful after an hour. I remember staring at my new trinkets like if they meant nothing to me. I feel lonely after all of the damage I’ve caused, I feel ill, alone, and depressed. I’m trying my hardest to not push the fact I regret everything I’ve done, but I yearn for old friendships because they mean a lot to me (if you ignore the fact I had sympathy for them and that I wanted to use them for my own personal gain. My past evil instincts have nothing to do with this conversation fuckass).

I have no desire making new friends because my most desired people want nothing to do with me. I see people as puzzle pieces and I chose who to replace