The Bill series 5

Whilst hunting for a man suspected of abduction, DI Frank Burnside is given the wrong information by PC Pete Ramsey and raids a doctor's hotel room. When the doctor threatens to lodge an official complaint, Burnside and Ramsey try to dig deep into the doctor's past for a bargaining chip. Frank must also come to terms with his new sergeant; DS Alistair Greig seems to prefer playing the clarinet in the Police Band to nicking villains!

Ramsey is back in uniform and goes with PC Haynes to see about a shoplifter who claims she is innocent. While they are out the back, the shop is held up by armed robbers who shoot at Ramsey. DI Burnside thinks it is tied in with other robberies and sends DC Carver to have a word with his evasive snout, Leroy. DC Dashwood has a new suit much to the amusement of his colleagues. It gets damaged while he is chasing one of the suspects in the robbery. Ackland and Melvin arrest a man with a knife threatening suicide in a gay club.

A councillor's drug-addicted daughter causes trouble for WPC June Ackland and PC Tony Stamp. She takes June hostage in her paraffin soaked flat, June tries to keep her calm but the woman ends up setting fire to the room, June wrestles with her and Tony comes to their aid.

Edwards, Yorkie Smith and Ackland try to enforce a child protection order on a Gypsy family and take their child into protective custody. They end up towing the caravan with the gypsies inside back to Sun Hill. Meanwhile DC Lines and WPC Martella investigate a beating and mugging of a man. They prepare an identity parade for the man to pick out a suspect when suddenly his wife admits she was the one who beat him.

A woman comes into the station with her head bleeding telling Smith she can't go home. Yorkie assumes her husband had been beating her and Martella tries to get her to press charges, but it turns out it was her boyfriend that was beating her not her husband; she can't go home as her husband will see the bruises. The husband later turns up at the station and attacks Yorkie. Ramsey and Ackland nick a gang of drunks under a fly over. The drunks then have a brawl in the cells. The DTI (department of trade and industry) meet with Ch. Insp Conway and demand he assigns officers to help them close down "Radio Sun Hill", a pirate radio station.

PC Tony Stamp and WPC Claire Brind bring a drunk into the station. In the man's drunk ramblings to Sgt. Alec Peters he mentions he has killed someone just before he passes out from a suspected drug overdose. Lines investigates; his wife is safe and well but she tells them he has been having an affair with another woman. Melvin goes to inform a woman her husband has died in an accident at work but after breaking the news, Ken suspects he's been given the wrong address. It turns out Ken is right and he's just told the wrong woman her husband is dead. Insp Frazer arrives to tell the woman about the mistake but her husband walks in before Christine can tell her. Ken then has to go and tell the correct woman her husband has died.

Martella brings in two schoolgirls who she found chatting up lorry drivers trying to hitch a lift to Manchester. Bob Cryer gives them a telling off about the danger they were putting themselves in. Brind attempts to calm an angry gang of workers threatening their boss because they are facing redundancy. It ends up in a brawl. One of the men grabs Claire's radio and smashes it, then locks her in a room. Melvin comes to the rescue. Sgt. Cryer gets into trouble for allegedly thumping a prisoner.

Melvin is sent to check out a strong smell coming from a flat. Finding a man dead, Ken suspects foul play and that drug users have been in the flat. Roach is sent to investigate. He finds out a gang of squatters were living in the flat and they might be responsible for the man's death. It turns out the man died from a heart attack. Meanwhile Dashwood and Carver lead an investigation into a steaming gang who are responsible for doing over restaurants. DS Roach is left fuming as he feels he has been sidelined with the steaming case.

PC Malcolm Haynes goes undercover posing as a driver called Curtis for a gang headed up by "Mr Tubbs". He has been asked to investigate the gang, as they are responsible for a murder and drug dealing. Haynes is sent to pick up a package for Tubbs but after dropping the parcel off he gets recognised as a police officer by one of the gang and they attack him just as the police raid the place. It turns out the murder victim's hand was in the parcel.

Burnside's goddaughter Tracy is in a coma after an overdose. Martella arrives at the hospital with the wounded from a wedding party who have been fighting. Burnside goes for Tracy's boyfriend in the interview room, believing him responsible for her overdose. Tracy dies and Frank has to break the news to her parents in Australia.

Lines helps a prisoner who is struggling with addiction, which draws him into conflict with Ramsey. An elderly mugging victim makes complaints against half the station, including Ch Supt. Brownlow.

When a diplomat evades punishment for beating up a friend of Martella's, Roach fails to prevent the girls father assaulting him, to Viv's fury. Stamp and Haynes intervene in a dispute between a bookie and his customers. The outcome is a favourable one for the relief.

Cryer discovers a young boy has been abusing his mother. Carver and Lines reluctantly arrest a brothel-keeper, while Burnside and Dashwood crack a robbery spree and Ramsey plots to catch a disqualified driver.

Cryer's son could be the key to arresting two local drug dealers. The result however is not what is expected.

The aftermath of Burnside's drug raid leaves Sun Hill in trouble with the public and a bad taste with the relief.

Tragedy strikes when a couples infant son dies. But Sgt. Cryer remembers it has happened to them before.

Burnside finds himself framed by a corrupt colleague; Lines has a race against time to clear his name. Cryer tells a young American army Sergeant to move his illegally parked car. As he gets in, a bomb planted in the back seat explodes, killing him. Cryer is only slightly injured, but is perturbed by the US military blaming him for the soldiers death.

Yorkie Smith goes undercover with a gang of football hooligans. As the rest of the relief have a quiet afternoon at the stadium, Yorkie finds himself in deeper than he planned.

Roach favours a pub date with a married woman over informing witnesses about court appearances. A chance encounter with an old boss brings memories of a long-forgotten case to the fore.

A racist group rampages through the market; Sun Hill's cells are soon fit to burst. Ackland attends a woman's death where her son confesses to killing her.

Roach interviews a rude and unpleasant man who was a witness in a child rape case.

Melvin unwittingly interrupts an arms deal, and Dashwood and Carver hunt for a bail hostel resident being chased by thugs.

A raid on a pornography ring goes wrong. But did the tip-off come from Sun Hill or the Obscene Publications squad?

The main suspect in a gold bullion robbery has returned home from Spain after 2 years. Roach works through the night attempting to prove he did it before he has to be released, with help from a less-than-thrilled Lines.

Yorkie and Martella are tasked with clearing up some missing person cases.

The fraud squad, Customs and Excise, ram-raiders and Sgt. Peters lax attitude to paperwork cause chaos on a busy day for Sun Hill.

Roach goes undercover in a brewery to catch a gang running a lottery scam.

Tosh is saved from two teenager muggers by a fortune teller who has had her crystal balls stolen. Roach and Martella arrest half a nightclub trying to catch a gang of purse snatchers. Roach's snout Roxanne helps him crack the case, but at a terrible cost.

An armed robber makes a deal with Burnside, and grasses on a big-time villain. DI Jackman from the serious crime squad rubs the Sun Hill team up the wrong way.

Martella is held hostage while visiting a prison. A foreigner is executed at a shopping mall. CID try to find out who he is, and why he was killed.

A Polish tie salesman in his fifties has a fatal heart attack in a grubby hotel. Greig and Lines discover he has left behind a string of young attractive wives. Brind and Melvin stumble upon a robbery at a bingo hall.

A stormy morning heralds a busy shift for the relief. Martella has a particularly bad day; after being shot at by an escaping burglar, she is cut while assisting to break up a fight at a party.

An Italian couple previously arrested by Haynes and Ramsey cause havoc on their new estate, leading to an attempted murder suspect running loose at the hospital. Brind is the hero when she stops him, although she is still the target for a prank.

CID is fully occupied monitoring an arms dealer while a couple continually annoy Yorkie Smith about a stolen car.

Roach is accused of attempted murder after a teenager burglar falls from a roof. He's cleared, but when the boy dies he feels the others blame him.

While asking door-to-door about a missing girl, Edwards and Brind have to deal with a shift worker smashing up a car whose alarm won't stop. Conway, fresh from a course, is keen to have the relief come to him and talk about their problems, until Edwards comes to him with a real issue.

After enjoying driving a stolen Rolls-Royce back to the yard, Haynes finds £80k of silver bullion in the boot.

June Ackland visits a woman with agoraphobia, while Melvin investigates a series of burglaries where the offender opens all the doors & windows.

Melvin is hospitalised during an armed robbery. Burnside must prove his suspect did it, despite the fact he was at a funeral with him at the same time. The station's toilets are blocked. Luckily there is a plumber in one of the cells!

Stamp and Brind delve into the heart of a serious domestic and Sun Hill tries to locate an escaped prisoner.

Brind and Ramsey disagree over how to handle a troubled shoplifter. Cryer tries to keep a stallholder he is friendly with out of prison after he is arrested for assault while on licence. Lines gives him assistance, though Insp. Frazer isn't particularly happy.

A prison officer strike leaves the Sun Hill cells overflowing, with Roach trying to keep his murder suspect separate. A Chief Superintendent Milan arrives from Scotland Yard to check the books, but his ulterior motive means trouble for Melvin and Roach. Smith and Ramsey stop a smuggling operation. Expecting drugs or guns, they are surprised to find out the cargo is three rare bird eggs.

The illegal dumping of chemicals in the river causes two deaths. CID try to work out if they can bring manslaughter charges against the culprits.

CID track a drug dealer who they hope will lead them to his supplier.

Carver believes someone is using a mentally disabled girl to commit burglaries. Dashwood investigates a robbery of a nightclub by its own assistant manager.

Carver and Lines attempt to find an escaped prisoner. Edwards is fed up with the job after finding an old lady dead in her flat. Hollis causes consternation by resigning as collator and asking to return to the relief.

When he is forced to deal with a fatal accident alone, Yorkie starts to doubt his future at Sun Hill.

In 2020, actor Robert Hudson (Yorkie) recorded an Audio Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[2]

A soldier claims he has planted a bomb in a shopping complex. Brind has a fortunate escape from a dangerous man.

WPC Cathy Marshall arrives at Sun Hill to take over as collator from Reg.

Ackland and Martella are on patrol in the park, while CID are awaiting a visitor in the adjacent street.

Hollis is back on the beat as the relief deal with a spate of flare attacks on neighbourhood watch houses. New PC Richard Turnham impresses Burnside during an undercover operation.

Dashwood is dealing with two cases - speaking to a nervy site foreman about robberies made on building sites and arguing with the father of a boy riding a stolen moped - when he is assaulted in a lorry park. But which man is responsible?

Brownlow's new money saving scheme forces CID to take the bus to crimescenes. Edwards spends his last day before his holiday evading time-consuming jobs. After helping Carver bring in a bail jumping thief who has glued herself to her bed he flees before he has to join Burnside at court as a witness.

Brownlow is invited to join a golf club.

Cryer joins new PC Turnham on his beat. After bringing in a girl who was sitting painting in the middle of the road, they assist Greig in investigating a hit-and-run which has put a young child in hospital.

In 2020, actors Andrew Mackintosh (D.S. Alastair Greig), Chris Humphreys (P.C. Richard Turnham) and writer Christopher Russell recorded a Zoom Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[3]

When Carver chases a man who has just held up a bookmakers into a chapel, the Priest refuses to identify him.

Garfield and Stamp's competitive spirit spells trouble for the borough's petty criminals, and an exasperated Tom Penny. Lines can't wait for his holiday, but the new car he has bought for going away helps to solve a burglary.

A light aircraft from Belgium crash-lands in a Sun Hill park. Melvin and Ackland transport a prisoner from Cumbria on a public disorder charge, only for Chief Inspector Conway to receive a phone call revealing she is involved in a bombing.

Yorkie and Edwards respond to a disturbance at a bank only to find Lines' wife causing a scene with her children because she can't withdraw any money. Ramsey and Ackland arrive only to realise the bank is being robbed as well. As a frantic Lines tries to reach his family, Ramsey is shot trying to stop him. (He would end up being invalided out of the force.) As the five raiders try to leave with Edwards as a hostage in a car deliberately disabled by Cryer, Taffy escapes their clutches and they are gunned down by PT17 officers.

The relief deal with Ramsey's shooting in different ways. Haynes gets angry at the public and his colleagues, and tears into Lines after picking up Ramsey's possessions at the hospital. An operation to pick up working girls is used as a cover by Burnside to get details of a planned armed robbery. As CID and the robbery squad celebrate the expected result, Lines has the suspect arrested for a lesser offence.

Martella is frustrated at having to work on domestic violence cases. Marshall explains to her why abused women stay with bad partners. Stamp and Turnham respond to a report of juveniles bag-snatching, and Stamp faces a claim of assault.

Lines is eager to arrest a villain who beats up his wife for speaking to the police. When he threatens Tosh's wife, Lines loses the rag and hits Burnside. Roach is bitten during a robbery, leading Tosh to his man.

Roach becomes eligible for promotion to Inspector and faces an intimidating assessment panel. He is punched during a lunchtime pub session and storms out of the interview, believing he has wasted his time. The rest of CID has just as unproductive a day, on a wild goose chase of a stolen lorry.

A robbery squad surveillance target is abducted. After an armed robbery takes place, he turns up outside his house. Roach is still angry at the board passing him over and offers Burnside his resignation. His observation of a detail solving the armed robbery has Burnside refuse.

Yorkie's last day at Sun Hill leads him to a shop lease scam. The relief plan a couple of farewell pranks for him.

Brownlow attends a training session for Chief Superintendents and deals sternly with a computer simulated riot. Meanwhile, A drugs raid by CID might well lead to the real thing on the streets.

Haynes is selected for Sergeant but is suspicious the Metropolitan Police are only interested in the colour of his skin. Stamp and Edwards chase an well-known hapless robber who steals a double-decker bus, while Edwards' wife goes to the station to accuse Cryer of not allowing him to transfer back to Wales.

Lines goes undercover to infiltrate a minicab firm which hosts illegal gambling, but when Greig commands the raid they burst into the back of the wrong shop. Garfield disguises himself as a deliveryman in order to catch two robbers targeting a pizza shop. Carver's attempt to prank Marshall backfires.

Peters and Brind, on scene at a crash, are asked to deal with the illicit goings on in an allotment garden. A missing person report leads them back to the allotment.

Sgt. Penny makes the drunks leave the cells at 5am in anticipation of the next shift, with one destitute named McPhee begging to stay. He is later found dead in the front interview room, with hand and head injuries. Penny is interviewed by Det Ch Supt Cameron and DS Barry as the death is investigated and Hollis sits in as the federation representative.

Roach and Dashwood execute a warrant for a GBH at a rugby club on a neighbouring ground. On the way back to the station they intervene in a fight between a couple, who turn out to be a pimp and his girl. As both chase the man, the woman stabs their prisoner. They have to work with the local officers to find the culprit, and stop the news getting out.

Carver is in the doghouse. After landing Burnside in trouble at court, he then walks out of a child's post-mortem. But can Burnside and Brind help him out?

Peters and Frazer are frustrated by two lay visitors from the Home Office inspecting the station. Thirteen prisoners are transferred to Sun Hill after a cell fire at Barton Street, adding to the chaos. Carver and Dashwood are attempting to investigate a case from an undercover van, only to find it is recognised by local youths on the estate. Brind finds a man sleeping in Brownlows car.

In 2021, actor Larry Dann (Sgt. Alec Peters) and director Niall Leonard recorded a Zoom Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[4]

Follows from 'It's Not Majorca'. Peters is carpeted by Brownlow over the chaos presented to the lay visitors and is assigned to the vicar's fete. Stamp, Hollis and Melvin are also roped in to attending and are kept busy by a gang of juvenile delinquents.

In 2021, actor Larry Dann (Sgt. Alec Peters) and director Niall Leonard recorded a Zoom Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[5]

Garfield helps an elderly lady who claims items are disappearing from her apartment. Dashwood and Carver investigate a con man who sells a pigeon, which then returns to him.

Stamp responds to a noise complaint on his birthday, and finds the complainant is mentally unstable. He realises the security gate on the front door is locked and the incident becomes sinister.

Greig interviews a suspect named Eric Taylor for armed robbery. The case is circumstantial, but he presses with scientific evidence until Taylor cracks.

In 2020, actor Andrew Mackintosh (D.S. Alastair Greig) and writer Christopher Russell recorded a Zoom Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[6]

Able and Melvin catch a horse and cart abandoned in a street; a badly beaten man that might be the driver is found soon after. Hollis finds himself between a disaffected man who bought a used car and the dealer. Ackland and Martella have to free a woman trapped behind a superglued toilet door.

Burnside calls in the flying squad for assistance stopping a robbery. It's foiled and four men are arrested. The fifth is shot after threatening to set fire to a security guard. While the station celebrates the result, Carver has qualms about the shooting. Conway then informs the debrief that £15k has gone missing from the van targeted.

Dashwood and Lines hunt for a private detective. They realise they are in turn being followed, and more than one chase is being played out.

In 2020, actor Jon Iles (D.C. Mike Dashwood) recorded an Audio Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[7]

Burnside faces a difficult choice regarding a security van robbery: pull his informants husband off the street before it happens and risk the rest of the gang getting cold feet, or fail to learn the location of the job and lose them all.

Stamp, Carver, Garfield and Greig stake out a hotel while Ackland and Dashwood take a guided tour. Datta is called to a case of an amnesiac.

Brownlow is driving when he notices a car steering erratically. He stops the driver, but the tables are turned when he steals Brownlow's car. Roach recognises his description as his armed robbery informant. Brownlow joins Roach on the robbery operation, but Roach lets his informant escape. Ackland and Martella are on patrol when June is approached by a man who she met at a party. He gives her a bouquet of flowers and asks her on a date. She agrees, despite knowing he has a criminal past. They later see him being arrested.

The relief struggle to deal with a myriad of everyday issues: Stamp tries to help a runaway begging under a bridge; Hollis is called to a woman attempting to knock down her neighbours fence; and Edwards attends a noise complaint at a cafe.

Brind catches the eye of a Special Branch detective after dealing with an argument in a pub. He uses Sun Hill to charge a criminal who has been on the run overseas for 19 years, but as their convoy of cars leave the station they are ambushed. Penny and Ackland look for a teenage runaway who has stolen drugs from her father's chemist shop.

When a woman's body is found next to a disused train track, Burnside is convinced the night-watchman is responsible. When she is found to have died of natural causes, Carver accuses him of trying to frame the suspect.

Frazer is assigned to police riot training. She freezes under pressure and is assessed as having failed.

Edwards is in hot water over his performance and attitude. He gets in deeper bother when attending a troublesome warehouse alarm. After it's discovered there actually was a burglary this time he receives a complaint. Burnside follows a chain of drug supply back to its importation, only to find he has interfered in a Customs investigation.

In 2020, actor Colin Blumenau (P.C. Taffy Edwards) and writer Garry Lyons recorded a Zoom Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[8]

Lines needs to extend his overdraft to bury his mother. The open day at Sun Hill is ruined when a snooker trophy is stolen from Brownlow's office.

On his way to work, Burnside spots a trespasser going to burgle a power station only to find himself being assaulted and hospitalised by the security guards. He uses Lines to help get revenge. Hollis writes an article for the police federation newsletter which angers management. Edwards is touting blue videos round the station.

Penny is given a cigar for saving a shop owner from a ticket, angering the relief. Dashwood investigates a case of demanding money with menaces between ex-boyfriends.

Dashwood is suspicious when a young lady is able to purchase a large prescription of opiates as a registered addict with a private doctor, and she is later found beaten up and robbed. Fraser makes Able and Garfield role play taking statements.

Able takes stick when he goes out on bicycle patrol, but ends up catching a woman driving a car used in an armed robbery. Conway finds alcohol hidden in the station but is stymied in his hunt for the culprits. Edwards goes for counselling and makes a big decision on his future. Martella is unconvinced by her liaison surgery, but it leads to information on a job. Stamp is frustrated, first by having Ackland as operator, then having to share the area car with the dog handler. The dog comes in useful though in apprehending the burglar from Viv's tip-off.

Cryer deals with a former soldier who is squatting in his previous house, now purchased for a development. Stamp and Melvin evict a group of factory workers from a pub, only to find they have returned to the factory to continue the party.

Melvin brings in a saxophone player who could be a 20th century version of the Pied Piper. Brind deals with a lady going into labour who has been chased from her house by a savage dog owned by her husband.

Carver and Roach investigate a hit-and-run incident. Roach lies that a witness has come forward in order to get a confession from his suspect: the husband.

Lines and Carver suspect a man with no socks of committing a safe-breaking. Edwards and Brind bring in an old woman wandering the streets with a stuffed budgie in a cage who is known to Insp Frazer. Dashwood and Martella are stymied by two lads they believe to be stealing credit cards.

The relief investigate a spate of motorcycle thefts, including a police bike. Melvin has to tell two victims the Crown Prosecution Service will drop their case, and ends up arresting one who takes the news badly. Able delivers a death notice.

Ackland and Melvin respond to a child abduction. Given a description of the woman who took the baby, June knows immediately who it is. When the furious father of the child finds out her address, June has to protect her. Lines and Carver stake out a bent car dealership, while Able and Martella pick up a conman.

Frazer dispatches the relief to secure a lecture picketed by feminists. Meanwhile, she is given a negative assessment in her annual evaluation by Conway. She passionately defends herself to Brownlow, but he confirms he cannot recommend her for promotion to Chief Inspector.

In 2020, actress Barbara Thorn (Insp. Christine Frazer) and writer Garry Lyons recorded a Zoom Commentary for this episode, released exclusively on Patreon.^[9]

Greig has been made acting Detective Inspector in Burnside's absence, angering Roach. A wanted man returns from Belgium wanting to negotiate his surrender, claiming he is terminally ill. Hollis and Ford are picking up a drunk when a nearby house explodes. Greig links it to other arsons in the area, and discovers the attack is drugs related. Before he can act, the Drugs Squad arrives.

Greig investigates the vicious mugging of a blind man; new arrival PC Quinnan nails a jewel thief; and Datta falls victim to a conman. Frazer reacts angrily to rumours circulating about a career move.

After local crime boss Reverend Marcus Ogun is arrested in possession of an illegal sheath knife, Burnside seeks further evidence from his known associates. Meanwhile Cryer is under pressure to allow Ogun's solicitor access to her client. When the charge falls apart, Burnside isn't happy.

Carver and Burnside investigate the murder of a drug dealer while Garfield and Brind bring in a teenage girl who has hit her mother.