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This article was copy edited by Obtund on 21 August 2012.
This review is transcluded from Talk:Thomas Hinde/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer:ErrantX (talk·contribs) 11:22, 1 November 2012 (UTC)
I am happy to review this article, for Good Article reviews I usually do a quick first pass to identify key issues and then work through the prose over the course of a few days.Reply
First pass:
The manual of style on images recommends not sandwiching text between an image and the infbox (which the first image does). Consider revising.
Should I delete the image? It is important to understanding Hinde.
per WP:IMGSIZE is there a reason for forcing the image sizes smaller?
Images are too big to fit in each section. Should I change to normal size?
There are some "clarification needed" tags on the page which need addressing
Changed
You might want to consider introducing Henry as a Founding Father, to clarify the regard in which Hinde held him
Changed
Two years later he married Mary T. Hubbard, settled near Henry, and became his family physician.; a lot happens in this sentence, perhaps consider expanding on it.
Changed. Does this address your concern?
Henry's statesmanlike eloquence and political principles made a strong impression on Hinde and shifted him from being a staunch royalist to a "sturdy republican". According to whom? In particular I think you need to attribute (in the prose) that view of Henry's character. Given that this is a complete about-face in political terms is that all the information about his change of views?
Added description of aource, but no greater detail is available regarding to shift in political views.
Chief Surgeon; to whom? I assume in Henry's militia. The following sentences appear to expand on this, but it is unclear if they follow on from the Gunpowder incident or are details about that incident. The timeline is mixed up a bit. Mulling it over I'd suggest starting the paragraph with something like "Hinde took an active part in the American Revolutionary War..." and lead into the Gunpowder incident & his place in it in detail.
Changed.
The final line (According to Juettner, Hinde "never wrote a line in his life.") seems oddly out of context. Reconsider the placement of this. Also, who is Juettner; you should probably note his credentials in commenting on Hinde.
Changed.
A number of the sources are very old - obviously historical perspectives change over time, is there newer material that covers Hinde? (I tend to ask this question because in my field, WW2, older sources tend to be untrustworthy or inaccurate to varying degrees).
The early 1900s is all that are currently known. There are a few sources available about his son, Thomas S. Hinde, but they mostly refer to the family's participation in Methodism.
