Wikipedia:Talk page stalker
 | This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
| WikiJaguar Temporal range: Late Nupedian (2001–present)
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| A talk page stalker hiding in the foliage of an administrator's talk page | |
Scientific classification 
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| Domain: | Eukaryota |
| Kingdom: | Animalia |
| Phylum: | Chordata |
| Class: | Mammalia |
| Order: | Carnivora |
| Suborder: | Feliformia |
| Family: | Felidae |
| Subfamily: | Pantherinae |
| Genus: | Panthera |
| Species: | P. wikistalkustalkus
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| Binomial name | |
| Panthera wikistalkustalkus | |
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| Known range (shown in white) believed to be found anywhere near a food source | |
| Synonyms | |
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A talk page stalker (TPS), also known as a WikiJaguar or talk page watcher (TPW), is an individual who keeps an eye on one or more users' talk pages (often via the watchlist) and answers or adds input to threads in which the stalker is not directly involved.
Talk page stalkers often make very constructive commentary, and should not be confused with Wikihounders. While it is best to treat them politely, and even with some safe measure of kindness, they should be watched carefully for other symptoms of Wikipediholism. If you believe your TPS may be experiencing other symptoms of Internet addiction disorder, you may wish to suggest diplomatically the Wikipatch or, for advanced cases, a visit to the Wikipediholic clinic.
Popular targets of talk page stalkers include catministrators, bureaucats, checkusers, high-profile or highly active users, and other types of megalomanicats. Talk page stalkers have even been known to stalk each other! Contrary to popular belief, talk page stalkers might not all be scheming villains – rather, they generally contribute with some helpful piece of advice especially when the particular user the message was left for is not immediately available. Talk page stalkers have also been known to make minor tweaks to the talk pages they stalk; for example, replacing plain text archive listings with archive boxes. One can see just how stalked a particular person is by looking at their page information.
It is considered polite to announce one's intention to stalk another's talk page, perhaps through some creative means, or an amiably worded self-invitation to the talk page's owner using as many weasel words as you can manage.
How to spot a stalker
Known talkpage stalkers sometimes like to display it on their own talkpages:
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This can be achieved by {{Wikipedia:TPS/userbox}}
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Wikipedians whose talk pages are routinely stalked are often not disturbed by this fact; and sometimes even welcome the practice, displaying a fair warning to others who dare post there. A banner is also available for this purpose, and lets talk page stalkers know they are welcome and appreciated.
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This can be achieved by {{Wikipedia:TPS/banner}}
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{{Wikipedia:TPS/vector banner}} is available for those with the vector skin.
Somewhat less ferocious among this group are the talk page watchers:
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This can be achieved by {{Wikipedia:TPS/watched}}
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This can be achieved by adding {{Wikipedia:TPS/watcher}} on userpage.
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This banner can be achieved by {{Wikipedia:TPS/watched/banner}}
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- Some stalkers surreptitiously advertise this essay by tagging individual messages with
{{tps}}replying to the message on the talkpage that they stalk; that template produces: (talk page stalker)
Awarding stalkers
If you've been helped by a talk page stalker, consider awarding them the WikiJaguar Award for Excellence by adding {{subst:WP:TPS/award|(message) ~~~~}} to their talk page. If you do not include a custom message the output will be as follows:
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The WikiJaguar Award for Excellence | |
| For your recent assistance responding to the request I left on someone else's talk page, I award you the WikiJaguar Award for Excellence in talk page stalking efforts. ~~~~ |
If you wish to use the above default text but add an additional custom message before the signature, type {{subst:WP:TPS/award|2=(additional message here)}}
Surprise your stalkers
The first obligation of a host is to not always offer the same thing. Be often polite, gracious, and soothing; but do not constantly offer such fare. Remember that unrelieved politeness may carry an implicit reproach. If a guest feels that they have been told: "Look at me being incredibly polite; can you do this?", they are unlikely to return. Allow them instead to experience an agreeable sense of superiority by telling them to get lost.
