I luv 'Apples in the Tree.'

Thought that Jim-ether was my all-time favoritie, but alas! Here it is:
Saturday

Oh crap you guys -- I think SOMEBODY'S FOLLOWING ME!

Woo hoo! Well done, ev-er-ree-body!

Hey, I believe this is the highest I ever got in the monthly awards! Whoop!
(Writhing naked on a floor covered in baked beans.)

The Newgrounds talent-pool has always been amazing! This nutty place has nurtured a ton of talent over the years, and seems to me even more viable today than ever. It's no surprise it's been a springboard for so many, as the indie gaming and entertainment scene grows. The ultimate proving grounds!

I will be eternally jealous of 'Don't Shit Your Pants'.

I'm an elder statesman! I'm finally an elder statesman!
I remember when Newgrounds was just a single TeleTubbies parody on Darpanet; I'd boot up my Commodore 64, load my America On-Line tape and 3 hours later I'd be laughing my head off. It was the only Flash cartoon at that time, but it inspired millions of people to make their own crazy cartoons. I am one of those peoples.
When Newgrounds opened its submission system, it was all over. I was hooked. Even moreso when my cartoons started appearing in the 'Best of All Time' top 50 (it was a lot easier back then). Thus began a decade of thinking up weird shit, drawing with the mouse, scanning crude drawings, and dragging the nearest woman into the current bedroom -- to record the female voices. And to make-out.
It's been an awesome decade. I'm old now, but still feel inspired. I owe it to Newgrounds keeping my good-natured immaturity alive, which is why to this day still get carded when I buy alcohol. Thank you, Tom and Newgrounds, for keeping me young.
And now I make games too! It helped that I used to program BASIC on my Atari 800, but if an old codger like me can do this stuff, so can you, young person with all their teeth. I recommend that everyone become an indie game-developer, right this second. Go on, do it!
Anyway, thank you Tom. Without you, I would have had a lot harder time scaring the masses -- and my friends wouldn't think about 'The Grim Reaper Show' every time they get on a plane.
And honestly, another title for this post could be: Matzerath - A Decade of Needing a Decent Microphone. I promise I'm getting one soon!

I have used anime studio for a while, and it has a lot of cool aspects to it. Here's a cartoon I made with it:

• 

  Serial Environmentalist

  by Matzerath

  This Cartoon Addresses Issues That Impact All of Us. Even Psychotic Murderers.

  Movie

  51,173 Views

  (Ages 17+)

The best thing about it is the bone system - you can add bones to PNGs, and actually bend the PNGs! Some of that is utilized in the cartoon link. It's actually way more advanced than the Flash Cs4 bone system.
The downside is that export to swf is very limited. Bending PNGs breaks the conversion, for example.
Also, the free version of Anime Studio has really shitty drawing tools. You'll want to do everything in Flash or Photoshop or Gimp or whatever, because they are almost unusable. I gather that the new version (the 19.99 version) has improved drawing tools, though I haven't tried it yet.
The cartoon I have on Newgrounds is a FLV in a SWF shell, because that was the only way to convert it.
Anyway, Anime Studio has some really great things in it that Flash doesn't, and visa versa. In a perfect world, they would be one program with all the best bits combined. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Beaver Bites definitely wins for subtlety!
(Didn't pay enough attention the first time I saw it!)
Heh. Heh heh.

I didn't polish mine as much as I shoulda, but oh well ... it was my first time entering the contest! I cans hardly waits ta tryyyyyys agin!
The funnest part for me was asking my house-mates for box ideas -- that list is on my website front-page!
'Rape Nuts' ... HAHAHAHA!!!!
The worst thing about this contest (and others) is that I didn't even correctly guess my competition! I thought 'Chocolate Breakfast Explosion' had it in the bag!!! That was fucking funny!!!

I wasn't ripping off STIX, I was ripping off Charles Manson!

Mongoid's 'Chocolate Breakfast Explosion' is the funniest damn thing in the world! I will eternally regret that I know the context for it!
As for my own -- sorry that it's kinda blurry, but frankly, even after all these years, I just don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Also, I used the Gimp -- but ineptitude is the real guilty party.

Lordy Mercy Tom, thank you so much! This is the nicest thing what ever happened to me on the internet!
It was fun to mention to friends, as well:

"This website I send cartoons to, Newgrounds, is giving me an expensive Wacom tablet as a gift!"
"What? What do you mean? A website is GIVING you something? For free?!?"
"Yes, that is what I am conveying to you, sir."
"I don't get it. You won it? Like one of those Ipod deals?"
"Not really. It's a gift for submitting stuff to them for so many years."
"Huh. Well, shit. I didn't know you had a following."

Huzzah!

Well, if you want to get all technical about it, if you shell out money for an actual Url, you'll be wanting to stick with the name you pick (or have to compromise into); having to keep a name doesn't seem like such a bad thing -- I mean, when you have different names in real-life that usually means you're a serial-killer or a date raper or the like. And we aren't those, are we guys?
(I gave it up years ago)
But of course, in my case, like many others taking this side of the argument, I have the profile-name I want, of course.

It must just be me, but I cannot BELIEVE that Papalote++ did not make it into the top five winners! That was an amazing piece of work, in my opinion!
Oh well. At any rate, I was honored to be a judge, and I extend giant thank-yous to all who voted for Grim Reaper 5!
Sincerely,
Matzerath

Yes, oh yesssss, how very interesting!
Here is my personal list of animators that I think have stood above the pack of wild wolverines, either through their style, their humor, their skills, or their sheer dick-slapping audacity!

1. David Firth -- this guy has renewed my hope that these silly internet cartoons will truly become an art form, or at the least will carry the torch of underground comics into the computer age, until the robots consume us and shit us out in little round balls.

2. Alan the Box -- B/W Drama theater was that rare flash series that actually made me laugh!

3. Dan Paladin -- If I had to choose a stylish flash animator, he's the guy, slumming Disney automatons notwithstanding...

4. Andrew (Tmst) -- the guy who did 'Only Superhuman', and discovered the wrath of 13 year-old Newgrounds viewers. His site claims he has 'too much time on his hands', but I can think of a group that truly does: Demented Flash Fans!!!

5. Amallox (???) -- or whoever exactly it was who made 'There she is!', because it's damn bizarro and rather entertaining!

Others (who I don't know by name): The guy who did the cartoons about the superhero hand (great stuff, man!!!), and the maker of 'Karma Ghost', which should really still be on the top fifty list. C'mon, it was great!!!

And there you go!!! Not that my opinion holds much weight, but these guys entertained me this year! And thanks for the shout-out back there!
Luv,
Matzerath

Yes, oh yesssss, how very interesting!
Here is my personal list of animators that I think have stood above the pack of wild wolverines, either through their style, their humor, their skills, or their sheer dick-slapping audacity!

1. David Firth -- this guy has renewed my hope that these silly internet cartoons will truly become an art form, or at the least will carry the torch of underground comics into the computer age, until the robots consume us and shit us out in little round balls.

2. Alan the Box -- B/W Drama theater was that rare flash series that actually made me laugh!

3. Dan Paladin -- If I had to choose a stylish flash animator, he's the guy, slumming Disney automatons notwithstanding...

4. Andrew (Tmst) -- the guy who did 'Only Superhuman', and discovered the wrath of 13 year-old Newgrounds viewers. His site claims he has 'too much time on his hands', but I can think of a group that truly does: Demented Flash Fans!!!

5. Amallox (???) -- or whoever exactly it was who made 'There she is!', because it's damn bizarro and rather entertaining!

Others (who I don't know by name): The guy who did the cartoons about the superhero hand (great stuff, man!!!), and the maker of 'Karma Ghost', which should really still be on the top fifty list. C'mon, it was great!!!

And there you go!!! Not that my opinion holds much weight, but these guys entertained me this year! And thanks for the shout-out back there!
Luv,
Matzerath

Hello der!
I was just kicked off the chat server for reasons that elude me. I was mid conversation and poof!!! I wasn't, to my knowledge, doing anything wrong, so what the fuck's up with that?!?

At 11/18/02 04:50 PM, TomFulp wrote: If you are looking for an action-packed thrill ride this Thanksgiving, you might want to hit the theatre and check out Extreme Ops. All of the snowboarding action should get you pumped for winter. :)

Gadzooks, what an asinine plug for a shitty movie!!! C'mon, you guys -- there's nothing more hero destroying than watching one be a corporate salesmen. Jesus!!!! Is this your odd attempt to bring the Sean Penn letter debate to a close?

What I suggest is for all of us to be open to each other's opinions. The truth probably sits somewhere in the middle, don't you think?

Well, like I said somewhere back there, this is an endless debate among divided ethos about the state of the world and what should be done about it. Everything related to politics has many sides of interpretation.
How many different ways are there to look at 9-11? There's the kill the terrorists angle, there's the 'let's just nuke them all' angle, there's the 'we asked for this for treating other countries like shit' angle, there's the 'we trained Osama to do this -- we make our own enemies' angle, there's the 'our government let it happen so Bush could have a Pearl Harbor to retaliate against' angle, there's the 'someone else actually did it' angle, there's the 'we're using this as an excuse to gain control of the oil-rich middle east' angle, there's the 'we're being conned into giving up our civil liberties' angle, and on and on and on.
By the way, don't go off on me about that last statement -- it was just an example. We all have our angle. A political discussion never reaches a conclusion (just like a religious argument) where one side finally says, "hey yeah, you're right! I'll change my ways immediately!".
So -- with all of us divided into our little factions, there's only one way to see who's right.
TIME WILL TELL.
And I must say, I don't necessarily want to win this discussion, because I have a grim view of politics these days.

At 11/15/02 07:28 AM, WadeFulp wrote:

At 11/14/02 10:38 PM, ViperMask wrote:

I'm sure Bush can understand his letter and all the big words. Bush just has trouble saying those big words. Stephen Hawking can't talk, but he's one of the smartest people on this planet. So are you against people with disibilities? The sad part is you people can only make fun of irrelevant things and not come up with any legitimate points based on facts.

You're asking for facts? I haven't heard any 'facts' from you -- unless claiming that the population of Canada are entirely comprised of 'pussies' who would take it in the ass rather than fight for their family (or whatever you were ranting). And what the fuck is a comparison of Stephen Hawking and George Bush Jr. supposed to prove? Hawking has proven his genius time and again, against a crippling disibility. Bush has proved that he can take stern pictures of his fucking profile when he's about to fuck some other country up the ass. He's cooperating with the U.N. NOW, but you can almost FEEL how desperately he wants to send in the bombs.
He's hoping to make money out of this deal while also gaining the blind Nazi patriotism of the American people. He's doing it for money, for Daddy, for the Bush family, for the Republican agenda -- in my opinion, I'll grant you that.
As a matter of fact -- I'm not saying I have the facts. My conclusions are based on what I see and read, and my gut feeling. In my life, there have been no good presidents. Not one. Not Democrat, not Republican. Bush is an ex cokehead who emptied the money surplus of Texas when he was Governer there, and now, as president, he's emptied the national surplus all in order to kiss our asses for the short term. He's doing something fucked up, which may or may not come out in the news as a major story; there may or may not be a mock televised trial with a puppet court and a lot of patriotic bullshit that doesn't mean a thing. It's always this, over and over. I'm sick of it. It's fucked.
And all we can do is sit and watch it unfold, because we've been successfully divided into two giant rant camps.
I, for one, am fucking sick of this bullshit.
I'm sorry for losing my main point -- it's simply this.
No one us know the facts. That's the problem. For whatever reasons, they don't want us to have them.
Mike Houser

At 11/14/02 08:10 PM, WadeFulp wrote:

At 11/14/02 06:36 PM, Dobio wrote: Bush doesn't take people's advice. He's an American president for God's sake. I'm just waiting for him to declare war on us next because he thinks we are "a threat".

You're a moron and I can easily prove why.

Bush has an approval raiting of around 70%. That means 70% of American Citizens approve of what he is doing and that he is reflecting their views. That means Bush is doing what the majority of the US wants him to do. So how can you say he doesn't listen to anyone??

Wade, do you really accept the approval rating stats that are given us? I've never been part of any 'approval rating poll'. It's bullshit. Think of it as the TOP 50 listing on this site. Do you think every cartoon on that list is absolutely fucking fantastic, and better than all of the other cartoons on this site, and that everyone would agree with you? My ass.
Polls, in general, are full of shit. Easily manipulated, and representing only a small cross-section of the whole.
Mike Houser

OMG! You Canadians are living in a fantasy world. Maybe if someone came and blew up your CN tower and other big building in Canada you'd be signing a different toon. Or are you all a bunch of pussies that would take it in the ass and like it?

So if I walked up to you and hit you in the face would you hit me back? Or would you let me keep hitting you? Then maybe I'd start kicking the shit out of your family and friends. Would you step in and do anything? Or just watch like a coward? You call that peace? You call having all your friends beaten and killed because you're to much of a coward to stand up to them peace? What a bunch of BULL SHIT! Sometimes you just have to hit back. Do you think if we didn't go after them and didn't do anything they would stop attacking us? Very unlikely! Because of our actions we have foiled many of their attempts after 9-11.
Wade, I don't doubt your honesty, but what you're spewing are playground tactics. And while we're in that frame of mind, let's ponder some other juvenile behavior. Bin Laden's cronies blow up the World Trade Center (and somehow our government missed the ball on this when evidence was slapping them in the face). So we go after Bin Laden. So far, no dice on that one, we haven't found him, unless we accidentally blew him up during a 'precision bombing run'. So now, all of a sudden, we're going after Saddam again, just like the eighties all over. Another guy we didn't get the first time. Do we ever get the leaders?
Bin Laden attacked the World Trade Center once before. Blew up the parking garage and a few floors, if I remember correctly. Though not as bad as blowing the fuck out of both buildings, it was a major terrorist attack in which many Americans died. Did we catch him then? Nope. But we LET HIM DO IT AGAIN.
All your tough-guy rhetoric is good and fine, but don't you sometimes think that something beyond all of us is going on? Don't you think that the 'battle against evil' bullshit they keep handing out is a little ridiculous and patronizing?
Bush wants to bomb the shit out of a country that has had an embargo on it for years. Their people are starving and dying. Does this action make them like us instead of hate us? Fuck no. I think if our government really wanted Saddam they could get him in an instant. But that's not what they really want.
America is a schoolyard bully, to get back to the point. We've proven that throughout our entire history. Now we're butting heads with other bullies. Bullies that we made ourselves, for the most part.
I wouldn't let someone beat up my family. Especially if they'd already attacked my loved ones once before, and got away with it. But likewise, if I were an asshole pushing people over on my way to the bank, I would have to be a fool to not expect someone to push me back.
I would willingly fight for my family, friends, and ideals. And frankly, I don't think our government works on those terms. I was raised to be a moral person, and to recognize when someone is bullshitting me. And I feel that the president is bullshitting me.
Sincerely,
Mike Houser

Mr. Penn's letter was sober, intelligent, and straight to the point. The fact that people consider it 'too long' is one of the reasons, I think, that America is in the shithouse in the first place. When your country starts acting like a rabid Wolverine backed into a corner, it's time to start really wondering what the fuck is going on. Patriotism is a dying beast -- just because it's existed so long doesn't make it viable forever. Humans need to start growing smarter. When politicians can be replaced by arguing five year-olds with almost no loss of verity, we have gots ourselves a problem. When a presidency is more like a television rerun than a solid step into the future, we have gots a problem.
Sincerely,
Mike Houser

Even more amazing is a reply written by a former Columbine High School student. I'd never seen this until another friend sent it my way recently. I'll let you read that for yourself, but if you want to download a copy this should help.

"Finally, an article addresses what is really going on here ("Fear the
Geek: Littleton's Silver Lining"). I actually used to live in Littleton,
and went to Columbine High School. I totally agree with this story. When I
went there, I was having the same exact problems and no one cared at all.
One day I was walking outside during lunch when some jocks decided it was
my turn to be beaten. One of the started hitting me to impress his
friends... I hit him once in the face and ended up on the ground. One
teacher was right there and did nothing to stop it. I was sent to the
proncipal's office and told that I should try to 'fit in' with the rest of
the students and not wear black clothes. All I can tell you is that on days
like that (and there were many), I could have shot them all. I ended up
leaving the school, and driving to the next town every day to attend an
alternative high school. I learned more there in the first week than I did
in the three years I went to Columbine. When I talk with friends who went
there, not even one person was surprised this could happen. We were just
surprised it didn't happen sooner."

-Jason DeTrempe

Matzerath here ... and I must say, indeed, why doesn't it happen more often? When I was in High School I DEFINITELY harbored a great deal of bitterness and hatred towards my fellow students, a bunch of coke-headed assholes, save for a select few that actually took me in as a friend, or at least were amused by me. The balance was shaky, to say the least, and thankfully I got out of there before I did something stupid that I'd regret for the rest of my existence (if I didn't kill myself afterwards). But besides all this, you have to think about the hatred extended towards those that are different in their styles and likes, and who didn't do shit, yet are blamed for all that befalls the NORMAL PUBLIC. I wear a trenchcoat, for instance, and downtown recently I was screamed at by some crazed woman, "You fucking terrorist!!! You got a fucking bomb under that coat, asshole!!!" -- which is an amazing juxtaposition of current events, combining Columbine looks with terrorist paranoia. Funny stuff. Not so funny is the incarceration of the West Memphis Three, some kids in Arkansas who were most likely wrongly arrested for a ritual-style murder. They were arrested based on local hearsay, and the fact that they were kids that liked black clothes and death metal in a podunk town in Arkansas. Evidence suggests that they were not the culprits, and even pokes the finger at other town locals, but still, they are blamed, and one is up for lethal injection (read about their plight at http://wm3.org/). It's this kind of bullshit you should be worrying about during these wonderful witch-hunting times. They may not find Osama, but they sure can find YOU.
Mazterath of Loservillex.com